I normally don’t go to the theatre to watch movies (I have a nice size TV and a good surround system) but, occasionally, it is nice to go to the theatre and watch a movie. This was not one of those times.

Watching the trailers for “The Book of Eli” had me believe 3 things:

1. Denzel is a badass

2. He has a magic book

3.  Gary Oldman wants to take it from him

The first half of the movie is spent on establishing my number 1 assumption with Denzel fighting and killing dozens of people with a sword, gun, hands, and what ever else he could use. At the end of everyday he spends time reading assumption number 2. After he reaches the town that Gary Oldman runs the movie starts to go down hill as we learn that this book is “The Bible” not just any old magic book. (queue boredom) Gary Oldman wants to use the words of “The Bible” to make un-educated people follow him, tricking them into believing it, and thus set himself up as king of the world (how early Christian of him).

*More spoilers*

From there the movie gets boring and predictable, the only reason I didn’t leave (I’ve never walked out on a movie before) is that I wanted to find out what was out “west”. Turns out that “west” was Alcatraz where Alex (from “A Clockwork Orange) is a crazed looking old man who prints books to give back to the world. The only real plot twists from the middle to the end of the movie was:

1. The book is in braille

2. Denzel was blind the whole move (but God let him see so that the book could make it “west”, yay God!)

The book doesn’t make it “west” but luckily Denzel memorized the entire book so he could repeat it word for word when he got there (I know, right?).

Summary:

The movie, from the middle on, is shit. The first half is good for action. If you are going to watch it, wait until there is a decent torrent – there is no point wasting your money.